


Playing with Fire

by orphan_account



Category: Shin Megami Tensei
Genre: Catboys & Catgirls, Hermaphrodites, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-12
Updated: 2008-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-14 12:14:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15388539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Takeshi's fusion with a demon had brought about many changes - some Kazuya knew how to deal with, and others he did not.What I'm saying is, Takeshi has fused with a nekomata and become a catboy hermaphrodite, and Kazuya wants.





	Playing with Fire

In another world, if he had had more time, Kazuya might have stayed at Jakyou manor for a time to learn about demons and better understand fusion. As it was he couldn't help but feel like he was toying with forces beyond his control, things that humans couldn't and  _shouldn't_ understand. Of course his minions would enter the tanks without protest if he ordered them to, some fearful, others treating it as a sort of ascendancy to a higher plane and greater strength. When they returned, Kazuya could see bits of one demon and bits of another in the being that emerged, sometimes a creature walking like one and talking like another. Occasionally one was dominant, completely overtaking its fusion-mates, and sometimes it seemed like one of his minions just...disappeared.

 _They're not human_ , he reminded himself, as if that made it alright, and he forbade any of his human underlings to enter the tanks, even when one would volunteer. It was just  _wrong._

Takeshi, apparently, had no such inhibitions. He'd always been brash, jumping into things without thinking about it. Kazuya had wanted to command him to stop, to force him to stay away – but Takeshi wasn't his minion or his underling – right from the start, Kazuya had had no power whatsoever over him. This wasn't something he could stop.

Takeshi wasn't like Yuji. Yuji really was as fearless as the face he put on, convinced that his unwavering faith would protect him (it wasn't God protecting him, it never had been, and Kazuya's lip curled at the thought of that blind devotion – but he could respect Yuji's strength). Takeshi had only fear to guide him, fear that motivated him towards strength. He'd gone into the tank trembling (with anticipation or fear or both?) and had come out laughing and marveling at his power.

Kazuya wasn't fooled. Under every word, behind every arrogant bark was the terror of regret, asking, ' _did I make a mistake?_ ' But of course Takeshi would never admit to a mistake. He wrapped himself in red and black to cover everything, whatever it was that he had become, and then walked out the door of Jakyou manor without pausing to look at Kazuya, only letting out a brusque “let's go.” His voice sounded off somehow.

Takeshi made his own decisions, Kazuya repeated over and over to himself after the other man's departure. It wasn't Kazuya's place to control Takeshi's actions, not out of a desire to pin Takeshi to his ideals or because he wanted to keep him close in an unfamiliar world. He put it out of mind for a time, focusing on the things that had to be done instead. But by the time he saw Takeshi again, it had become clear to him that the 'right choice', although it was something that he knew he would do,  _had_  to do, wasn't something all of him wanted.

 _I'm just going to Ikebukuro to do some investigation, I'm not going to join the Gaians to keep him close_  – that would mean alienating Yuji (or what Yuji had become, he should have seen that so long ago, should have seen it coming), that would mean doing things that he didn't believe in – but he was so close to alienating everyone anyway, doing what Yuka wanted him to do – the  _right thing_  – in the end, did he really want to do that?

He already knew what Takeshi would say about it, upon meeting him in Ikebukuro. He hadn't changed at all, no matter what was under all that red and black. Even though all Kazuya could see was Takeshi's eyes (it seemed he didn't need glasses anymore; the fusion had fixed that), there was still a slight expression of unease before the furrow between the man's brow's relaxed once it was clear that Kazuya would be acquitted, and Kazuya jumped on that little sign, squeezing what hope he could out of it.

 _But I only just saw you again –_ Kazuya stopped Takeshi, grabbing his wrist and wilting a little at the other man's flinch.

“Why don't you show me around?” Kazuya forced his lips into a small smile, searching Takeshi's eyes. “Since I'm new here.” Yuka had already gone with the other minions, searching for a place to rest for the night. Kazuya wouldn't let this chance slip through his fingers.

Takeshi was as poor as ever at making eye contact. “I'm busy.” His voice seemed to be a bit different than Kazuya remembered it – even muffled by the folds of cloth over his face it was noticeable.

“Then just show me your place,” Kazuya insisted, squeezing Takeshi's wrist lightly.

Takeshi's eyes widened, reading the request as the proposition it was. It wasn't like they hadn't done it before, a few times, actually – but always within the strict code of silence,  _it doesn't mean anything_  – this didn't have to be different. Kazuya might have wanted it to be, but it didn't have to, he wasn't going to push.

Possibly, somewhere in Takeshi's mind, he deemed it an act of cowardice to refuse. Or maybe he just hadn't gotten any in a while, who knew? But despite his initial reluctance to be within touching distance of Kazuya, he allowed the man to come to his apartment anyway.

Takeshi didn't waste any time – as soon as the door was shut behind them he pulled down his mask and took Kazuya in a fierce kiss, all tongue and teeth. Kazuya returned it with a hunger he didn't realize he had, wrapping his hands around Takeshi's neck and the back of his helmet (did he ever take that thing off anymore?) and pulling him closer, one hand sliding around from Takeshi's neck to his chest –

And Takeshi jerked as if burned, pulling away. He looked to the side. “I've gotta tell you something,” he muttered.

Kazuya held his breath, fearing the worst.  _What?_

Takeshi had always been better with actions than words, so instead of stumbling over an explanation and making himself look like even more of a fool, he showed Kazuya. He unbuckled his shoulder guard, dropping it to the floor before untying his sash and opening his robes to reveal a pair of small, rounded breasts. His figure had changed, too, subtly – it wasn't a woman's, not quite, but it was softer and more curved than it had been, his shoulders a little less square and his hips a little wider.

Kazuya didn't even know how to reply; he just stood there (come on, he'd lived through the apocalypse, surely his friend – comrade – or whatever he was to Kazuya – switching sex was fairly normal compared to that) – Takeshi scowled, put off, and went to sit down on the couch and cross his legs and arms in a blatantly defensive manner. “I've got both now, just so you know,” he (could Kazuya even say he, now? But somehow it seemed odd to say anything else, to recognize him as anything other than a man.) said bluntly, and now that his voice wasn't muffled Kazuya realized that it was slightly higher in pitch, not as rough as before, even though Takeshi seemed to be trying to conceal it.

“How...?”

“The fusion,” Takeshi said, his mouth clamping shut after he was done, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

So this is the result that Kazuya had worried over, possibly even feared? This was what Takeshi had been so reluctant to show? It seemed... almost absurd, now, but at the same time Kazuya couldn't help but wonder at the demon that had fused with him, what it had given to him and how – were the visible changes really the only result? What kind of man had Takeshi become, really? Was he... still human? (He looked human, he felt human, Kazuya wanted to believe he was, but he wasn't even sure if it mattered at this point. He still wanted Takeshi, as a human, as a demon, as a man or a woman or anything.) What was the other half that had combined to make his present form, anyway? Was it even important, and was there anything left of it in Takeshi? Kazuya seemed to remember Takeshi dragging off a Nekomata at the time...

Apparently he had said that last part out loud, because Takeshi turned a fierce shade of red before taking off his helmet, tossing it on the floor, and –  _oh._

It seemed that breasts weren't the only thing Takeshi had taken away from the fusion – atop his head were a pair of pointed brown cat ears, their twitching giving away Takeshi's unease.

Kazuya couldn't hide a smile as he went to the couch to join Takeshi, moving to straddle his legs and slide into his lap. Takeshi seemed surprised as Kazuya reached up to touch one of the ears, petting it a little with a finger like he might a cat. It was rather cute, really, seeing Takeshi like this – Kazuya felt some of the tension drain from him as he ran his fingertips across the soft fur, whether from the action itself, the oddness of the situation, or being close to Takeshi again, Kazuya didn't know. This, this contact – a confirmation of Takeshi was what he needed, not the knowledge that he was  _human_  – but to know that the most important things (what were they...?) were still intact.

Takeshi's lids lowered a little before he snapped back, slapping Kazuya's hand away. “Don't patronize me,” he said.

“Doesn't it... feel good?” Kazuya's tone was as such that Takeshi couldn't mistake it for anything else. He caressed Takeshi's ears as he would caress the man's thigh, nothing patronizing and everything sexual about it – before ducking his head down to kiss Takeshi again, enjoying the sounds emerging from Takeshi's throat that were as close to purrs as a human could ever get.

Kazuya brought his hand down Takeshi's back, his fingers slipping under the waist of his pants over his ass to feel – yes, it was there, the base of a tail that had been hidden by Takeshi's loose pants. Kazuya wanted to bring it out, to stroke it, to see what kind of reaction he could elicit from Takeshi – he was so easily flustered and irritated, and Kazuya never stopped enjoying finding new ways to push his buttons, to get under his skin in the small ways (as time passed, there were fewer and fewer people who could; Kazuya needed to remind himself that the bond was still there). It was so appropriate that Takeshi should be a cat, to be cute and vicious and aloof and yet needing those small amounts of affection (or maybe Kazuya just wanted him to want the last part).

Kazuya disengaged his lips from Takeshi's for a moment, looking down at Takeshi's face – “You're really –  _fucking_  hot,” he said, because it was true, and he thought Takeshi needed to hear it, and needed to hear it that way (thought Kazuya wanted to tell him he was beautiful, but Takeshi wouldn't take well to hearing it put like that). Takeshi was so transparent, to Kazuya at least – he needed support like that, needed people to tell him he was good, right, wanted, and loved. (Kazuya would be that for him, even if nobody else would.)

Kazuya was rewarded with a smirk, Takeshi saying “I know,” like he had believed it all along (no, no, of course he had never had any insecurities, he would deny it to his fucking grave) before bowling Kazuya over, pushing him to the couch and crouching over top of him, getting straight to work unzipping Kazuya's jacket and pulling off his turtleneck. Takeshi had always been so impatient. He wasn't one for foreplay, either, cutting straight to the point and getting it over with (because drawn-out sex was called 'making love' or something like that, and Takeshi didn't want to be associated with something so sappy and emotional and therefore weak).

This was probably a bad time to talk, then, a bad time to say anything other than 'fuck me Takeshi' but Kazuya said it anyway, couldn't stop himself like he always couldn't stop himself with Takeshi. “I missed you,” he said in between gasps as Takeshi played with his nipples, moving his tongue along Kazuya's chest before moving his hands down to fumble with Kazuya's pants.

Takeshi paused in the middle of pulling at the waistline of Kazuya's pants, his nose at Kazuya's crotch, almost brushing the erection that was beginning to show there. “Yeah,” he said, and Kazuya knew that was as close as he was going to get to 'I missed you, too', and on a certain level it  _hurt_  – but he'd take what he could from Takeshi, and his line of thought was soon cut off anyway by Takeshi pressing his mouth over Kazuya's balls through the thin cover of his underwear, breathing the heat of his breath through the cloth to warm Kazuya to shivers.

“Takeshi –” Kazuya's breath hitched, and he drew an arm over his eyes, squeezing them shut as Takeshi removed his mouth and began to knead Kazuya through the cloth with with his hand, the other moving down his thigh to thumb circles over the flesh just outside the line of his briefs.

Takeshi paused at the use of his name, causing Kazuya to squirm a little. “Say it again,” he muttered into Kazuya's stomach, resuming his ministrations. When his only response was breathy moans, he swallowed and said it sharper, more commanding, in the sort of tone Kazuya would be he practiced for the sake of intimidation. “Say it again!” He punctuated his comment with a fierce, almost painful squeeze of Kazuya's cock, and Kazuya cried out, gasping as he tilted his head back. The dampness of precome was beginning to soak through his underwear, but still Takeshi didn't remove it, preferring the rough feel of cloth under his hands.

“Takeshi... stop,” Kazuya said, pulling up into a sitting position and away from Takeshi's grasp.

“What?” Takeshi wasn't pleased with the interruption.

What he wanted to say,  _I want to see your body, I want to pleasure you, I want to touch you_ , Takeshi probably would have scoffed at. “Take off your clothes,” was what came out of his mouth, and after a raised eyebrow and a moment of hesitation Takeshi complied, sliding his undone shirt off his shoulders and kicking off his boots and pants. Kazuya took the opportunity to rid himself of the last of his clothing as well before sliding back to where Takeshi was sitting, curling a leg over Takeshi's and running his hands down Takeshi's body to feel all the unfamiliar parts, from the ears atop his head to his breasts to his tail. Kazuya paused when he reached Takeshi's erection, sliding his hand down it before gliding over the Takeshi's crevice with his fingers, testing, stopping just short of dipping into the hole there. Kazuya wondered if Takeshi had ever done this himself, maybe at the same time as he touched his dick – it must be amazing, Kazuya thought, but maybe Takeshi wasn't comfortable with it yet... Kazuya gave a few experimental rubs along the labia, looking at Takeshi's face, trying to gauge his expression.

It didn't need gauging. “Fuck me,” Takeshi demanded, voice breathy.

Of course then Kazuya found himself wondering about any number of things that Takeshi most likely wouldn't answer, such as whether or not Takeshi had ever, well, used 'that hole', or whether – God forbid – he could get pregnant (Kazuya couldn't help but wince at the thought).

Takeshi didn't miss the wince. “What now?” He looked a bit put out.

Kazuya withdrew his hands from Takeshi's body and made a few vague motions with them. “Shouldn't we use a...” not like they had before, but this was  _different._

“I'm sterile, for your information,” Takeshi said, fighting down a blush. Kazuya started wondering how Takeshi had found that out, and whether or not he had cycles, or if he would ever hit menopause, or – well, that was a line of thought that would probably best end there.

Kazuya blinked to dispel his curiosity (he'd never knew these things, would he?) before taking that as the go-ahead, pulling Takeshi towards him turning them around so that he was seated on the couch and Takeshi was above him. Takeshi didn't waste any time getting on his knees over Kazuya, grabbing the other man's shoulders for balance and lowering himself onto him with only a slight wince (this couldn't be any worse than taking it up the ass, really) before beginning to move, settling into a comfortable rhythm. His tail flicked behind him with each motion, something Kazuya found both cute and distracting as he attempted to memorize Takeshi's body with his hands, running his palms up the man's sides to his breasts, cupping them, massaging them before moving one hand up to his neck below his chin, feeling the accelerated pulse and the smaller Adam's apple before moving up to Takeshi's face, tracing the softened lines of his jaw. He was surprised that Takeshi would let him get away with this, especially now – usually he swatted away anything stinking of gentleness or soft affection, out of embarrassment or whatever it was – but maybe it was different, maybe distance did make the heart grow fonder and Takeshi would let him have these little things because he had wanted Kazuya back just as badly as Kazuya had wanted Takeshi. Maybe. Or perhaps this was wishful thinking.

Takeshi was hard, now, and he began to pump his own cock before Kazuya brushed his hand away and took it himself – one hand on Takeshi's breast, the other on his cock – it was an odd juxtaposition but Kazuya embraced it as Takeshi increased the pace, moving his hips in off-beat time with Kazuya's strokes. Kazuya spread his legs a little wider, lifted his hips into the motion as Takeshi fucked himself on Kazuya's cock, eyes closed, focusing on the sensations. Kazuya kept his eyes wide open, taking in every part of Takeshi's body like a starving man who would never see another meal again.

“Ka...” Takeshi began before clenching his teeth and his hands on Kazuya's shoulders, his body tightening around Kazuya, his tail curling up so it strained against his back, his head lowering backwards and his mouth open in the silent cry of his orgasm as his semen splattered between them.

The tightening around his cock, the display of Takeshi in front of him, all of it was enough to send Kazuya over the edge soon after, coming inside of Takeshi, biting his lip before drawing the other man towards him with both hands, wanting to feel Takeshi's skin against his as he shook with the final tremors, breathing against Takeshi's breasts.

There really wasn't enough room for two on the couch, and Takeshi got up as soon as he'd caught his breath, leaving to go clean himself off. Kazuya figured he should probably follow suit, but it was more than the post-orgasm languor holding him to the cushions.

Maybe he'd been hoping for more than just sex, at the back of his mind – not – well, not any sort of grand love confession, but for something, something that would make him feel a bit closer to Takeshi – or – who the fuck was he kidding himself – what he really wanted was some sort of sign from the other man, something to let him know that they were... not lovers, they didn't have to go that far, but... close. Kazuya couldn't help but feel depressed as soon as Takeshi wasn't touching him anymore, the perceived emotional closeness disappearing with the physical.

But what had he been expecting, then? Takeshi was a terrible lover, when it came right down to it – selfish, not gentle in the least, only ever considering his own pleasure most of the time – and yet despite all of this Kazuya found himself giving in more often than not, indulging him. He'd never presume to tell Takeshi off for anything the other man did.

And so Takeshi took and Kazuya gave, the former taking it for granted and the latter unable to stop. For some reason, Takeshi was like that in Kazuya's life – that completely uncontrollable element, and the part of himself that let it happen Kazuya couldn't begin to understand. He was playing with fire, the kind of fire that Kazuya feared the most (Takeshi was the sort who wouldn't be stopped; the Gaian cult was just feeding what was already there).

But was he any different, then, walking into a trial in Ikebukuro and getting let off the hook because the judge  _liked_  him, jumping into this thing with Takeshi without thinking at all, still uncertain and maybe even scared as a man climbing into a fusion tank? Kazuya had no moral high ground here, no faith to fall back on. Instead of collecting information on his location and looking for stronger minions to recruit he was sleeping with Takeshi. And why? Because he was lonely? Because he wanted to get laid? Because he was scared? Because he wanted Takeshi to convince him of... something?

“Takeshi?” He called tentatively.

Takeshi returned from the other room with a box of tissues, tossing it to the couch by Kazuya before picking up his clothing from the floor and beginning to get dressed again. “What?”

“What should I do?” A stupid question, that. But Kazuya had to ask, if only to read nuances into Takeshi's response that weren't there.

“Whaddaya mean?” Takeshi was pulling on his pants, tucking his tail in again. Kazuya missed it already.

“About –” he sighed, and pulled out a tissue, wiping off his limp cock and stomach as he continued. “Do you want me to join you?” he asked. “The Gaians, I mean.”

Takeshi paused with his hands on his belt. “Of course I do, retard. You're powerful – with your help, the Mesian scum won't stand a chance.” He seemed excited. “I know Lord Yama likes you; you could totally join us anytime.”

Kazuya looked about him for a wastebasket before tossing the dirty tissues in it. He picked his underwear and pants off the ground, figuring he might as well get dressed as well. (What had he been expecting, a cuddle session?) That was the answer he'd expected, of course. “We'd see a lot of each other, then, right?” He dropped his pants in his lap, looking up at Takeshi.

Takeshi was pulling his arms into his sleeves, now, tucking the loose ends of his top into his belt. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you want to see more of me?” He was venturing into dangerous territory, here, uncharted area. He stood up and began pulling on his underwear and pants to hide his unease.

Now all of Takeshi was hidden again, the tail tucked into his pants, the ears beneath his helmet, the curve of his breasts invisible beneath his loose-fitting shirt. Kazuya privately hated that, hated how Takeshi concealed everything. “Sure,” he said, shrugging, nothing in his eyes suggesting that this was anything more to him than a casual encounter – maybe they counted at least as friends, maybe not – “I'll put in a good word for you with Lord Yama if you want.”

Kazuya finished dressing, hesitating for a moment, thinking it was maybe time for him to leave. “Thanks,” he said, turning to the door, and  _fuck_  he wanted Takeshi to stop him, but it wasn't going to happen. None of it was going to happen.

Takeshi picked up that Kazuya was leaving, and didn't object. “I'll see you later, then,” he said as Kazuya opened the door to step out.

Kazuya looked back for a moment, tried as best he could to study Takeshi's face – he  _knew_  Takeshi, he was always so predictable, right, so transparent, always on fire and with his intentions clearly visible to everyone like he'd yelled it in their face –

But this time, Kazuya couldn't read a thing there, and in that moment it was just a great a mystery as what exactly went on in the depths of Jakyou manor (maybe Takeshi had absorbed something there in his change, had absorbed some of their secrets, their mystery, the things that Kazuya would never know). “See you,” he said, closing the door behind him and walking away slowly, trying to calm the chaos inside his head. Nothing was resolved, no decisions had been made – he should never have come here at all, maybe, it would have made things so much easier, being detached, disconnected from all this, able to make the 'right choice' – but now he found himself thinking of all the things he had blocked off before, the possible outcomes, the disasters that were inevitable between the Gaians and the Mesians –  _no matter what I chose, I'm going to end up killing people._ It was just a matter of which people he was willing to kill.

Kazuya jumped when the cell phone at his hip vibrated. It was a text message from Yuka, saying she had found a place, and asking what they would do tomorrow.

 _I'm on my way,_  he wrote.  _We'll get up early tomorrow. I have to see Lord Yama._  

 


End file.
